Changing Expectations Can Be Healthy

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When circumstances change, expectations sometimes should, too. Children would benefit from realizing this and learning how to do it. Otherwise, they can be discouraged for no good reason.

nmpkJill Savage and I, in our new book No More Perfect Kids: Love Your Kids For Who They Are, write about how setting expectations too high can contribute to children thinking they need to be perfect. We also fully understand that setting expectations too low isn’t healthy either. It can be tricky!

“The sooner we become aware of our expectations and align them with reality, the better it is for us and for our children. … We must look for and use evidence when setting goals and expectations for our children.” p. 14, 28

I spoke in Budapest, Hungary, recently, at a Hearts at Home conference. I knew the crowd response would be different from how people respond to me in America. I knew being translated would change the rhythm. Half the audience would react to what I said and half would respond after hearing the translation. I also knew Eastern Europeans would be more guarded in their responses so there would be fewer facial reactions and less laughter in general.

Today Dr. Kathy exhorts parents to, “Raise the children you were given, not the children you wish you had.” Check out today’s video which emphasizes the importance of parents empowering the discovery of who their child truly is as a gift from God.

If you find these videos helpful please “Like” and “Share” them on your social networks. Thank you!

What Are You Saying? The Importance Of Translation And Clarity

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When speaking to moms at the Hearts at Home conference in Budapest, Hungary, last Saturday, Erika translated my English into Hungarian. If she wouldn’t have, the Hungarian moms would have been lost. Confused. Untaught. Angry.

I hope I would have seen their confused looks as signs they needed help. I hope their scowls would have caused me to ask someone, “What’s wrong?” Perhaps I would have asked someone if translation was necessary.

Little Things May Be Big

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AirplaneMySeatAtlantaToParisOn the first flight on my European adventure last Wednesday, the flight attendant asked if I’d like cookies or pretzels with my water. Because I didn’t care, I responded, “Surprise me.”

She was flabbergasted. It was such a fun moment. Her grin was huge when she looked back to her cart and hovered her hand over the two baskets of snacks for a moment. She then reached in, chose some pretzels, and handed them to me. She was able to break out of a rut and enjoy a unique interaction with someone all because I did a “little thing.”

How could you surprise someone this week in a “little” way that adds joy to his or her day?

My seat on the 8-hour flight from Atlanta to Paris might be the best airplane seat I’ve ever had. I was amazed because my flights were booked only two days before my trip because pilots on the airline I had reservations with went on strike. I wouldn’t have been at all surprised to be in a middle seat of a crowded section.

Give us two minutes and we’ll give you a one sentence description of each of the eight smarts your kids have. They each need to know they’re smart. It’s a power word. When your kids and students know they’re smart they can behave like they are. Watch and pass it on. Show it to your kids and talk about it. Be an influence!

An Open Door: Embracing The Opportunity To Influence

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When I walked into Jim Daly’s office, I teared up. Even though he’s the President of Focus on the Family and I was there to record our interview, I wasn’t embarrassed. I felt free. He and John Fuller, the host of the show, noticed my tears.

John and Jim invited me to share what I was feeling. After sitting on one of the overstuffed chairs and getting my composure, I explained that some people have prayed on-and-off for 20+ years that I’d one day be a guest on their radio show. I had prayed often. I shared it was one of my mom’s greatest hopes because she knew how influential the show was, but that she was now with Jesus and not here to share in my joy.

Explaining how I had asked people to pray helped them interpret my tears. As tears came to my eyes again, I humbly but confidently told these two important men that I knew I was ready and Celebrate Kids was ready. How did I know?

Parents Have Important Power To Awaken Intelligence

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While my dad used graph paper, T-squares, unique rulers, and other drafting materials on the table in our family room, I made designs by coloring in squares on my own pieces of graph paper. I also used rulers and colored pencils to make designs with lines at a variety of angles on unlined paper.

I loved my dad and spending time with him while we were “working” was special to me. My observations and activities awakened my picture-smart intelligence. Strengths today continue to be with graphs, charts, maps, and diagrams rather than with color and art in the classic sense.

The earlier an intelligence is awakened, the greater the chance it will be a strength. Parents have important power.

Welcome Focus On The Family Listeners!

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At Celebrate Kids, we focus on children and we want you to, too. If you’re here for the first time because you heard me on Focus on the Family Radio, welcome!

We encourage and support parents because you are your children’s first and most important teachers. The ways you love them, mentor them, and teach them matter!

We inspire teachers to rise above any discouragement and face challenges head on because children deserve the best. We greatly value educators!

We equip church-based teachers, leaders, and volunteers to love, lead, and teach well during these days when Truth isn’t respected like it used to be, but it’s just as important as it’s always been.

We share with children of all ages in all types of schools, churches, and camps to convince them of truths like these:

  • I can be smart with my smarts.
  • I am created on purpose with purpose.
  • I have present value, not just future potential.
  • I am who I am supposed to be.
  • I am a human being, not a human doing.
  • I am a unique, one-of-a-kind, created-in-the-image-of-God miracle.
  • I will control my technology. It will not control me.

Radio is an efficient way to influence people and we’re grateful to Focus on the Family for the opportunity to be a guest on their show. Speaking at events sponsored by Christian schools, public schools, homeschool groups, churches, camps, corporations, and conventions is the most common way we meet needs. Providing hope and direction is a privilege! You can learn more here.

We can also serve you in these ways:

  • This blog. Check a list of recent and popular posts in the right sidebar. Clicking on “multiple intelligences” at the top will direct you to the posts about our smarts. You can subscribe so you don’t miss any posts near the bottom of the sidebar.
  • Our twice-a-month email newsletter will keep you inspired and equipped to celebrate your kids well. Subscribe here.  There’s no risk. We won’t use your email address for any other reason and it’s easy to unsubscribe. We hope you won’t, but we’ll understand if you do.
  • Kathyism videos hosted on Vimeo.com. Two-five minutes in length, they’re produced for you to watch alone or with your kids. Fun and influential!
  • We also use other social media sites to connect with you, help you, and learn from you.  Find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.
  • Our website includes information on my main topics. For instance, you can read about multiple intelligences here. My speaking schedule is posted there and you can get to our shopping cart to see what books, CDs, DVDs, and other materials may meet your needs.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I hope that through it, the radio broadcast, and our other resources, you’ll find solutions for today and hope for tomorrow. It’s why we do what we do!