Every Wednesday, I’ll post about multiple intelligences so we can better understand children and why they do what they do. — We determine how strong people’s intelligences are by looking at both how much interest they have and how much ability they demonstrate. Both are essential for an intelligence to be strong. Interest in music is high in our culture. Just look at the number of iPods in use, the number of people who have downloaded music to their phones, and the number of iTunes accounts accessed regularly. But, not all the people listening to music have music smart as a strength. Are they interested in a variety of musical styles, are they open to discovering new styles and musicians, and do they remember music … [Read more...]
Masks Matter
January 28, 2013 by · 2 Comments
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — Doug, a member of the small group I attend at my church, wears a mask over his mouth and nose for health reasons. He’s had cancer and a transplant so his immune system is weak and he needs to guard his health. He has told us he doesn’t like wearing it. But, he does. Doug’s mask is life-giving. It protects him from something real. He’s not hiding behind it. He’s not choosing to be fake. What about us? It’s so tempting to wear masks so we can hide. Pretend to be perfect. Protect others from ourselves. To be fake. It’s dangerous and damaging, as Jill Savage points out in her must read, No More Perfect … [Read more...]
The Proper Perspective on Being “Perfect”
January 7, 2013 by · 7 Comments
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — When I speak about our core needs, the topic of perfection comes up in two primary ways. Trying to meet our legitimate need for security by being perfect won’t work. When trying to be perfect, our mistakes become even more obvious and we’ll become insecure. This is the exact opposite of our goal. We can’t meet our legitimate need for competence by being perfect either. Our God-wired-into-us need is for competence, not perfection. Perfect paralyzes. Permits defeat. Pummels. Perfect is painful. It suffocates. Perfect lies. It diminishes. It erases. Perfect is defined as “faultless.” We’re not. … [Read more...]
No More Perfect Moms
January 4, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Are you trying to be perfect? Do you know others who struggle with perfectionism? I meet way too many women trying to be perfect or thinking they have to be or wishing they could be or regretting they’re not…. It’s a mess! You’ve possibly heard me speak against perfectionism. We should strive to become more than we used to be, to be and do the best possible given our circumstances, to accept ourselves when we fall short, to develop the competencies we need so we can fulfill our purposes, to be teachable, etc. But, perfect has been done. His name is Jesus. A colleague I’ve come to have great respect for, Jill Savage, the Chief Executive Officer of Hearts At Home, has written a new book that you’ll want to purchase the week … [Read more...]
Three Beliefs Related to Gratitude: Satisfaction, Contentment, and Inner Peace
August 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — Last week, I posted about the difference between being grateful and living gratefully. When children live gratefully, they’ll develop self-respect, self-control, and respect for others. Do you value these qualities in children? Then, help them root gratitude in beliefs rather than in circumstances. Three related beliefs cause us to be grateful. They are life satisfaction, contentment, and inner peace. What do we model before children in our lives? Do they hear us complaining about what we don’t have? whining about not getting our way? talking about past decisions that have ruined our lives? worrying about … [Read more...]
Thought Provoking Discussion Starters #23: What Do You Do When You Don’t Have Enough?
June 22, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Every Friday, I’ll post thought provoking discussion starters. — Last week, I asked you to think about whether you have enough. You might have answered my question with money, friends, possessions, influence, or other things in mind. Today’s questions are related. What do you do when you realize you don’t have enough of what you want? Complain, have a pity party, ask for help, make changes on your own, pray, nothing because you can’t imagine things ever changing, …? Does your approach change if you realize you don’t have enough of what you need? Why or why not? Are you satisfied or dissatisfied with your approaches? Now what? … [Read more...]
A Lesson From a Peanuts Comic: Comparing Ourselves to Others Can Undermine Our Competence
June 18, 2012 by · 1 Comment
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — For years, I’ve taught that comparing ourselves to others can undermine our competence. We can feel we write well enough, look good enough, play tennis well enough, have decorated our classrooms beautifully, or any other number of things until we see others. Then we begin to question everything. Although I talk about comparisons when teaching about the fifth core need of competence, I could bring it up when teaching about security, identity, belonging, or purpose. Judging ourselves by others can damage the health of all five of our needs. Yesterday’s Peanuts cartoon really struck me. At the beginning, Sally is … [Read more...]
Thought Provoking Discussion Starters #22: Do You Have Enough?
June 15, 2012 by · 2 Comments
Every Friday, I’ll post thought provoking discussion starters. — Last Friday’s thought-provoking discussion starter was about success and satisfaction. I think knowing the difference is really important. I’ve had today’s questions on my mind for awhile. Their importance was amplified in my mind as I thought about last Friday’s questions. Here you go: Do you have enough? Not enough? How do you know? Don’t be frustrated that I’m not telling you “enough of what.” You decide. It could be enough things, time, money, friends, … You decide. Answer them all if you want. I just think it’s worth asking. How do you know if you have enough? … [Read more...]
Thought Provoking Discussion Starters #21: Success or Satisfaction?
June 8, 2012 by · 1 Comment
Every Friday, I’ll post thought provoking discussion starters. — A Pastor asked high schoolers a series of questions the second night of church camp. Their answers, and the questions they asked as they were thinking, were fascinating. How about gathering family and friends and answering these questions? What’s more important to you, success or satisfaction? Why? What does satisfy you? Why? How do you recognize you’re satisfied? What’s the evidence? What is success for you? Why? How do you recognize you’re successful? What’s the evidence? Is contentment connected to satisfaction in any way? Is fulfillment connected? Why or why not? How? Are they related to success? Why or why not? How? … [Read more...]
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