Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — Did you get what you wanted for Mother’s Day? Did you give what your mother wanted? I’ve turned my blog over to Tina Hollenbeck today. She wrote this as her column for tomorrow’s Celebrate Kids newsletter, but I wanted you to read it. Not only are her ideas important, I hope it will encourage you to subscribe to the free newsletter here so you get quality thoughts like this every other Tuesday. --- The Heart of the Matter by Tina Hollenbeck A few days before Mother’s Day, my husband asked me what I’d like for a gift. I knew he wanted to show his genuine appreciation and that my daughters would want … [Read more...]
It’s Never Too Late for Intelligences to Grow
May 8, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Every Wednesday, I’ll post about multiple intelligences so we can better understand children and why they do what they do. — Her questions were heartfelt. She really wanted answers. She needed answers. “I am not interested in music or art. I’m not smart in these ways. What about my preschool sons? Do I need to make sure they’re smart in these ways? How can I do that since I’m not?” Whether this mom needs to or not is an individual decision. If the smarts were word and logic, I’d say absolutely because of their importance in school. I think for most people, whether their children need the other smarts depends on the parents’ experiences, strengths, and goals for their children. Because my parents were both … [Read more...]
Creating and Keeping Traditions Alive for Generations
May 1, 2013 by · 1 Comment
Every Wednesday, I’ll post about multiple intelligences so we can better understand children and why they do what they do. — In the last years of my mom’s life, she enjoyed living at a senior apartment complex. She formed fabulous friendships there. My sister-in-law and I are still in touch with a few of the special women even though my mom has been gone almost four years already. The Red Hat group went out for lunch or dinner once a month. The wine-and-cheese monthly gathering was always a highlight. Residents competed to bring the most popular appetizer. My mom was a great cook, so she enjoyed creating special treats and tasting others. She faithfully attended the monthly birthday parties to honor new and old … [Read more...]
What do you think about perfection and perfectionists?
February 8, 2013 by · 1 Comment
What do you think about perfection and perfectionists? Over the past month, I’ve posted several blogs related to perfectionism to help promote Jill Savage’s book. I hope you’ve been thinking about the topic and wondering how you’re influenced by it. Today, I’ve asked Jill to share with you directly. I love what she writes near the end: “While we’re pursuing perfection, we’re missing out on the most precious parts of life: the laughter of silliness, the joy of spontaneity, the lessons found in failure, and the freedom found in grace.” Do you agree? Read on…. Guest Post—Jill Savage www.JillSavage.org www.HeartsatHome.org www.NoMorePerfectMoms.com When child number one threw a fit in the grocery store one … [Read more...]
Parents Appreciate Learning About Their Children – Pick Up “No More Perfect Moms”
February 6, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Parents appreciate learning about how their children are smart for several reasons. One I’ve seen evidenced in many of my audiences is that “imperfect” is redefined as “different.” That’s a powerfully important change! Some children are very word smart so they learn to read and write easily and enjoy both. Others aren’t as word smart and they may struggle to learn and/or they may not enjoy reading in their spare time. That doesn’t make them imperfect. It just makes them different. I’ve seen children damaged by perfectionism. And, I’ve talked with more moms than I can count about the damage they do to themselves when trying to be perfect. Unrealistic expectations they have for themselves and their families are … [Read more...]
“No More Perfect Moms” – Book Launch
February 4, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — Monday’s blogs are about how we and our children should and can meet our core needs of security, identity, belonging, purpose, and competence in healthy ways. As I’ve written before this month here, it’s not wise to try meeting our needs by being perfect. Yet, I see people doing this so often. Honestly, before God did a beautiful work in my life, I was perfectionistic. I was very hard on myself when I made mistakes and I know other people were afraid to be wrong when around me. I still have regrets about that period of my life. This is why I was happy to join the launch team for Jill Savage’s important new book, … [Read more...]
Masks Matter
January 28, 2013 by · 2 Comments
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — Doug, a member of the small group I attend at my church, wears a mask over his mouth and nose for health reasons. He’s had cancer and a transplant so his immune system is weak and he needs to guard his health. He has told us he doesn’t like wearing it. But, he does. Doug’s mask is life-giving. It protects him from something real. He’s not hiding behind it. He’s not choosing to be fake. What about us? It’s so tempting to wear masks so we can hide. Pretend to be perfect. Protect others from ourselves. To be fake. It’s dangerous and damaging, as Jill Savage points out in her must read, No More Perfect … [Read more...]
Motivating Children is Not a “One Size Fits All” Situation
January 9, 2013 by · 1 Comment
Every Wednesday, I’ll post about multiple intelligences so we can better understand children and why they do what they do. — Encouraged. That’s how I feel when pondering the reality that God generously created us with eight different intelligences. After years of studying, writing, and teaching about this topic, I’m still in awe of God’s choice. Our smarts help us and our children in so many ways. We can learn and study with all eight and learn to communicate in a variety of ways. They can also help us when disciplining children and motivating them to be successful. Sometimes children need more than our words and teaching to help them behave in proper ways. Consequences (punishments and rewards) may be necessary. … [Read more...]
The Proper Perspective on Being “Perfect”
January 7, 2013 by · 7 Comments
Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — When I speak about our core needs, the topic of perfection comes up in two primary ways. Trying to meet our legitimate need for security by being perfect won’t work. When trying to be perfect, our mistakes become even more obvious and we’ll become insecure. This is the exact opposite of our goal. We can’t meet our legitimate need for competence by being perfect either. Our God-wired-into-us need is for competence, not perfection. Perfect paralyzes. Permits defeat. Pummels. Perfect is painful. It suffocates. Perfect lies. It diminishes. It erases. Perfect is defined as “faultless.” We’re not. … [Read more...]
No More Perfect Moms
January 4, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Are you trying to be perfect? Do you know others who struggle with perfectionism? I meet way too many women trying to be perfect or thinking they have to be or wishing they could be or regretting they’re not…. It’s a mess! You’ve possibly heard me speak against perfectionism. We should strive to become more than we used to be, to be and do the best possible given our circumstances, to accept ourselves when we fall short, to develop the competencies we need so we can fulfill our purposes, to be teachable, etc. But, perfect has been done. His name is Jesus. A colleague I’ve come to have great respect for, Jill Savage, the Chief Executive Officer of Hearts At Home, has written a new book that you’ll want to purchase the week … [Read more...]
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