Every Monday, I’ll post about discovering genuine hope and authentic answers for living a healthy life. — When I speak about our core needs, the topic of perfection comes up in two primary ways. Trying to meet our legitimate need for security by being perfect won’t work. When trying to be perfect, our mistakes become even more obvious and we’ll become insecure. This is the exact opposite of our goal. We can’t meet our legitimate need for competence by being perfect either. Our God-wired-into-us need is for competence, not perfection. Perfect paralyzes. Permits defeat. Pummels. Perfect is painful. It suffocates. Perfect lies. It diminishes. It erases. Perfect is defined as “faultless.” We’re not. … [Read more...]
Thought Provoking Discussion Starters #27: As the Olympics Begin, What’s Your Definition of “Compete?”
July 27, 2012 by · Leave a Comment
Every Friday, I’ll post thought provoking discussion starters. — Words fascinate me. Did you know that the word “compete” has its roots in Latin and means “to seek together”? It means “to strive together for, to be qualified.” How does this jive with your view of “compete” as the Olympics begin once again? … [Read more...]
The Importance of Winning & Losing: Some Questions to Ask
September 1, 2011 by · 5 Comments
For this second column about competition (click herefor the first), I’m going to do something I’ve never done. A whole article didn’t come together in my mind because all of these ideas were competing for my attention. So, why not just list them?Reflect. Decide what you agree with, what you’re not sure about, and what you want to think more about. Today’s children may have a greater desire or need to win because they have a greater need to feel valued and worthy. It’s scary, though, because if feeling worthy is based on winning, they’ll have to keep winning. That’s not realistic. How valued and worthy do the children in your world feel? Do they depend on wining in order to feel good? How do you know? … [Read more...]
The Value of Competition and Negative Impact of Cheating
August 29, 2011 by · 2 Comments
Students like to win. I remember simple competitive games that totally changed the motivation and interest of my second graders many years ago. They focused differently, cheered for members of their team, and enjoyed the change of pace. The activities provided effective and efficient practice of math facts, spelling words, and social studies details. Because of the influence of video, computer, and online games and competition TV shows, today’s students want to win more than mine did. More importantly, perhaps, they may mistakenly believe they’re entitled to win. What if their fear about losing coupled with their entitlement mindset causes young people to cheat to win? They copy and paste someone else’s work into theirs to … [Read more...]
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