Multiple Intelligences: Discovering Who I Am in My 50’s
Dr. Kathy Koch on November 21st, 2008 | Filed under multiple intelligences
Radio interviews are a great way to promote our philosophies and my two books. I usually really enjoy them. That was the case a few weeks ago, when Bonnie Houston interviewed me for her show on KVTT in Dallas.
We talked about multiple intelligences and my book, How Am I Smart?, making most of our applications to parents and children, as I usually do.
I received an interesting email from a man in his late 50’s. He wrote, “I didn’t have parental input and I’m still in the dark. No work seems to satisfy me. I can’t seem to find work that does. I don’t know my own talents and abilities. Can you help adults figure out who they are and what they’re all about?”
Yes, I think I can!
I’m so proud of this man for wanting more out of life. And, I’m humbled that he’s trusting me with his pain. To still be searching and open at his age is quite something. Agree? Weaker men and women would have given up by now. I’m sad that he wasn’t helped to discover strengths and passions earlier in life, but I truly believe it’s never too late. But before I deal with that, I’ll start with this:
Sometimes people with a variety of strengths and interests struggle more than those of us with one or two strengths. That’s the first thing I think of in cases like this – not that he’s untalented, but that he might be so able that he gets bored quickly with one thing and flits to another. Being equally capable, he can make any new job work. Then boredom will set in again, and he’s off to another place.
There’s nothing terribly wrong with this. If he’s being irresponsible and getting fired because of work deficiencies, that’s one thing. But, if the work is getting finished, and he needs a new challenge that’s something else entirely. He may think it’s wrong because of the people around him. Maybe family members are frustrated that he’s always starting over.
Having no work that satisfies, and I’m assuming he’s tried a variety of jobs/tasks at his age, may just mean he doesn’t have a definite passion like some of us do. That can make life more challenging because so many people appear to be deeply satisfied. It may require more use of important character qualities like diligence and perseverance.
One recommendation for people who have many average abilities or many strengths, sometimes resulting in quick boredom, is to find a job with a long job description. In other words, the greater the variety of tasks and people to interact with, the greater the satisfaction.
This man may need to look beyond a job to something else for his joy – to volunteering and serving others, perhaps. But, he’d still want to know his talents and abilities wouldn’t he? There’s several ways we can look at this:
I believe this man has all 8 smarts and some are probably more developed than others. That’s typical. To identify these, it’s usually a matter of asking what we’re good at, what we enjoy doing, and what gets us into trouble. For instance, I’ve been told I use words effectively; I enjoy talking, writing, and reading; and I can get into trouble by talking too much and for the wrong motives. I’m word smart!
Picture-smart people have strong imaginations and see with their eyes. They may be good at drawing or other uses of color and art or design. They often enjoy fiction, movies, doodling, and creative tasks. They may get into trouble by drawing when they should be listening or by judging everything by its appearance.
(My book and our E-Reports explain this type of thing for all 8 smarts. I include sample careers for each of the eight smarts.)
I sometimes like this unrelated analysis:
- Do I prefer to spend time with people or tasks?
- What type of people? What type of tasks?
- Are my thoughts or my feelings most important to me?
Sometimes men find out that people and feelings are most important to them and that’s part of the problem. They’re still buying into the lie that there’s something wrong with men who are like that. When these men are freed to embrace their feelings and strengths with people, they change. Then they help to change others!
Sometimes we can’t see our strengths, talents, abilities, and interests so we need to ask trustworthy people who know us. It usually takes just 3-5 people to help us think about life this way. They shouldn’t all be from the same circle – but some from work and some from church or other relational connections, perhaps.
This man needs to ask for honest feedback, sharing his heart that he wishes he knew his abilities and talents. He can ask questions like these:
- What do I seem to do well, with little effort?
- What do you think I enjoy? When, where, with whom, doing what, etc., do you see me enjoying myself?
- When do I appear to be fulfilled? What do you hear me talk about a lot? (If the talk is negative/critical, maybe that’s the problem he should work on solving.)
- Are there certain behaviors or attitudes that you think get me into trouble consistently? Are these rooted in a strength that I’m not using right?
What are your thoughts? How can older people discover more about themselves?
January 24th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Like the man who posted his question about ‘getting settled’ so to speak, I too have a concern. I have had many differnent jobs, I’ve not be fired and usually seem to get strokes at work. However, life has seemed to pulled me. Yet, I suffer from not having had a long-term job nor jobs in related fields.
I hid behind school, I never spoke, I was and perhaps stil find myself scared to view opinions, and relationships are not lasting at any lever, it seems. Perhaps I leave jobs due to the relationships… What I am beginning to realize is just how low my self-esteem may be. The seemingly new term is ‘emotional intellegance’. I look forward to your thoughts and suggestions and the thoughts of others.