If you’re like most people, you’re wondering how to talk with children about the tragedy that occurred in Boston yesterday. Here’s some advice. I truly hope it’s helpful. Respond to emotion with emotion. Feel your children’s feelings before you analyze them. Hug them. Cry with them. Listen. Listen longer. Keep listening. Even longer. Don’t be afraid of silence. Don’t say anything that would cause them to question if their emotions are right. Depending on your children’s ages, don’t assume they won’t hear about the bombing even if you haven’t discussed it. If you don’t homeschool, chances are good that teachers will bring it up. They’ll want to be helpful and maybe they can relate it to content they’ve been … [Read more...]
No More Perfect Moms
January 4, 2013 by · Leave a Comment
Are you trying to be perfect? Do you know others who struggle with perfectionism? I meet way too many women trying to be perfect or thinking they have to be or wishing they could be or regretting they’re not…. It’s a mess! You’ve possibly heard me speak against perfectionism. We should strive to become more than we used to be, to be and do the best possible given our circumstances, to accept ourselves when we fall short, to develop the competencies we need so we can fulfill our purposes, to be teachable, etc. But, perfect has been done. His name is Jesus. A colleague I’ve come to have great respect for, Jill Savage, the Chief Executive Officer of Hearts At Home, has written a new book that you’ll want to purchase the week … [Read more...]
Today’s Tragedy In Connecticut Compels Intentional Interaction with Our Children … Now
December 14, 2012 by · 1 Comment
The Newtown Connecticut shooting is a tragedy. Absolutely. As of this writing, I believe 18 children and 8 adults were killed. We can’t control what happens to our children. You’ve known that. Today’s trauma just drives that home. Many times trying to control our children backfires. Too many demands and they rebel. Too many boundaries and they won’t know how to be free. They may not know they can be free. They may have no confidence. They’ll actually be more insecure. It’s the very opposite of what you want for them. We can control how we behave toward our children. And, other children, too. Know them. Respect them. Interact with them. Comfort them. Like them. Love them. Honor them. Affirm them. Spend time with them. … [Read more...]
Multiple Intelligences: Being Intentional With Our Thankfulness (Part 2 of 2)
November 17, 2011 by · 2 Comments
In my first post in this two-part series, I shared how we can express gratitude effectively when we consider people’s multiple intelligences. This is true whether we’re simply expressing our appreciation or buying something for them to say “thanks.” I covered word, logic, and picture smart in that post. Let’s consider the other five smarts. Music smart – Write a note describing their value to you or the beauty of your friendship with musical terms such as classical, melody, in tune, harmony, and composer. (This may seem crazy at first, but I’ve done this. It is possible!) Buy them symphony tickets, make sure to attend their recitals, listen to their favorite songs on their I-pods, and spend time at a store listening to new … [Read more...]
Multiple Intelligences: Being Intentional With Our Thankfulness (Part 1 of 2)
November 14, 2011 by · 4 Comments
Teaching about multiple intelligences is one of my favorite things to do. people are always encouraged – and that includes the moms who attended the recent Hearts At Home convention. Figuring out how children are smart benefits them and us in numerous ways – primarily because it can help them believe in their abilities to learn and they can choose to invest more energy in school/learning, therefore being more successful. What if we applied our understanding of how children are smart to the theme of gratitude since Thanksgiving is right around the corner? This can work for adults, too. Do you have someone to thank or are you grateful someone is in your life and you want to remind him or her? You can also use people’s smarts … [Read more...]
Speaking With Moms of Strong-Willed Children during Hearts At Home Conference
November 10, 2011 by · 6 Comments
Have you ever been tempted to examine yourself to find the button your children easily find? You know the one I mean. The one they find and push to get you to do what they want. Do they sometimes make you feel like you really were created with a button? Strong-willed children are especially skilled at getting us to argue when we know we shouldn’t. They can also get us to throw up our hands in defeat and do for them what we’ve been asking them to do. They know how to find and push the button. Last week I had the great joy of teaching moms (moms-with-buttons-invisible-to-them-but-visible-to-their-children) strategies that help to keep the hands of strong-willed children off the button. Before teaching the strategies, though, I … [Read more...]
Is There Any Candy Left?
November 7, 2011 by · 1 Comment
A week ago, the big deal was Halloween candy. Adults talked about it. What kind should we pass out? Where should our children go trick-or-treating? How much candy will they get? How much should we allow them to eat daily? And, our children and students talked a lot about it. Is tomorrow the day we get to go trick-or-treating? How much candy do you think I’ll get? Do I get to eat everything I collect? I hope I get a lot of my favorites! A week later, is any candy left? Is it still a big deal? The center of attention? The focus of conversations? I doubt it. You know what I wish? Although some seasonal priorities and conversations are totally appropriate, I hope there are some more important topics that are pre-eminent year-round. … [Read more...]
Halloween Costumes, Part 2
November 3, 2011 by · 2 Comments
Halloween Costumes, Part 2 (Please also read Part 1) Another Halloween has come and gone. Are children’s costumes put away for next year or designated for the next garage sale? Or, are your children still dressing up for fun? As I wrote in Tuesday’s post, imagining who you are on Halloween can be harmless. Imagining daily can be stressful. Sad. Unfulfilling. Unwise. Depressing. Defeating. Confusing. Conflicting. What can we do if children want to be who they are not (e.g., outgoing, coordinated, fast at math), but they don’t seem willing to invest to truly change? Let’s ask them why and/or observe for what their reasons may be. Then we can talk with them. Are they frustrated because what they want to change can’t be … [Read more...]
Halloween Costumes, Part 1
November 1, 2011 by · 3 Comments
Halloween Costumes, Part 1 (Please also read Part 2) Last night, thousands of children dressed up in Halloween costumes and pretended to be someone they’re not. A terrific Baby Blues cartoon in Sunday’s paper shows Zoe, dressed as a princess, and her younger brother, Hammie, dressed as a dragon. I only know that because they’re looking in a mirror and Hammie has become a dragon in his imagination. I thought his costume was a bug of some sort. Of course, in the mirror, Zoe’s dress was even more elaborate and she was riding a white horse perfect for a princess. Dressing up can be harmless and this type of imagination for Halloween is totally appropriate. Little girls can become princesses while dressed as one. Boys can … [Read more...]
Thankfulness Lifts the Exhausted Soul
October 27, 2011 by · 2 Comments
One of the most meaningful keepsakes in my shadow box is a card that accompanied flowers delivered to me on the last day of school back in 1980. It was my third year of teaching second graders and Paul was one of my students. His parents purchased the flowers as a thank you gift. The card reads, “Thank you for investing in our son, Paul. You have made a difference and we are grateful.” Thanking someone is a beautiful thing. Thankfulness lifts an exhausted soul. Gratitude is like oxygen to the lungs and clouds under tired feet. Gratitude can clear cobwebs from overwhelmed brains and calluses from hardened hearts. Thankfulness restores and heals. Paul’s parents went out of their way to notice my efforts and Paul’s progress … [Read more...]
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